Shepherd-Couples: Doing Pastoral Ministry Together
Dr. Jim Newcomer | Pastor, Calvary Baptist Church, Ypsilanti, MI
Over the past 30 years of pastoral ministry, I’ve never been able to get over Paul’s words: “I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service” (1Tim 1:12). The weight of Puritan Abraham Wright’s summary of shepherding is keenly felt: “A minister is a merchant of invaluable jewels.” The pastoral calling not only rests on my shoulders for three decades; the Chief Shepherd has called my wife to my side for this adventure. We serve, suffer, and thrive together.
Shepherd-couples share some sweet realities in common as we serve together. We are called to press through all seasons of ministry together focusing on maturing our marriages (Gen 2:24), noting the fruit of the gospel (Matt 13:3-9, 18-24), maturing the pastoral qualifications (1Tim 3, Titus 1), learning the shepherding craft (2Tim 2:1-2), facing ministry hurts (2Tim 3:10-12), and assisting in the rescues of other shepherd-couples (2Cor 1:3-4). We are also wise to the Wicked One who attacks shepherd-couples very tactically. He relentlessly strategizes how to separate us spatially (keeping us apart for periods of time), ministerially (keeping us apart with separate ministry foci), intimately (interrupting regular enjoyment), affectionately (creating a difference in what brings us joy), and privately (allowing pockets of privacy to exist between us). We must resolutely pray as our Lord instructed us: “Deliver us from the Evil [One]” (Matt 6:13). The sweetness of what we are called to, as well as the heaviness of what we are wise to, compel us to be committed to regular dating as a couple as well as a weekly resting together. We cannot afford not to pursue this rhythm of connecting and refreshing (Eccl 9:9).
Shepherd-couples also hurt together in the common ministerial trials (2Tim 2:3). H.A. Ironside nails it: “Wherever there’s light, there’s bugs.” Criticism is the greatest avenue for these trials (2Cor 12:7-10, Prov 12:18). Ministerial critics often find their footing in one of the following (Prov 22:3): other ministers (e.g., staff, retired, unemployed; cf. 3Jn 9), individuals most active in recruiting you to that particular ministry, close friends (Ps 41, 55), loyalists (e.g., institutions, authors, Christian liberty expressions, generational, etc.), spectators, and self-proclaimed “messiahs” for the old church. John MacArthur is on-point: “One truth every leader will eventually discover is that people are shockingly fickle. It’s amazing how easily they can be swayed by lies about a leader whom they know and love”. But the shepherd-couple stewards the critic well. They understand that Christ is allowing the trial to strengthen them in order to encourage others within and outside the church (2 Cor 2:3-7). Critics also provide an amazing platform for gospel love and forgiveness to shine (Matt 5:43-48, 18:21-35; Rom 12:14-21). The couple even realizes that criticism can hold nuggets of truth that sharpen them (Prov 27:17b).
Shepherd-couples not only survive trials; they thrive in them if they have a plan in place. As the shadow of trials approaches, they are careful to walk in the grace of the qualifications (1Tim 3), knowing that trials will come (2Tim 3:12) and that they must come (1Cor 11:19, 1Pet 4:12). Their gaze is fixed on pressing forward with Great Commission ministry. In the valley of trials, they walk in love and with grace, using the critics’ attacks to sharpen them, prepare them for ministry to others, deepen their commitment to God’s call to ministry, and sweeten their view of heaven. In the wake of trials, they continue to walk with humility and wisdom as Paul demonstrates throughout Second Corinthians. Therefore, be encouraged: grace wins!